Food Allergy Hero of the Month: Bella Canestrini
By Bella Canestrini
This is going to be raw, unfiltered, and difficult. I’m scared, really, I am. I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone to do this, but if it can help one person not feel alone, it is worth it.
I’m Bella Canestrini, an Ambassador for Red Sneakers for Oakley. I’ve struggled a lot with my peanut allergy, because it’s airborne. Just inhaling peanut particles can send me into anaphylaxis. It isn’t the peanuts, the anaphylaxis, or the asthma that I have that has impacted me. What impacted me most was bullying. That is the worst part about my allergy.
A recent comment on Instagram is what made me finally decide to do this. Someone told me that they “hope I have an allergic reaction next time I go out.” The worst part is that it didn’t even bother me. I just brushed it off. I’m used to it, but I shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t have to be desensitized to someone wishing that I have an allergic reaction. The truth is, I’ve heard it before.
When I moved from private to public schools in 5th grade, my schools had to go peanut free by state law. It was fine for the first two years besides being known as the “peanut girl,” but in 7th grade a rumor began to circulate that I was faking my peanut allergy, but that was within my own middle school and I still had a lot of people who were on my side. 8th grade is when the chaos began.
Where I live, the three middle schools merge into one big high school. So, the other two middle schools and the high school were not peanut free. When I was in 8th grade, they began to switch the high school to being peanut free and it was not received well. Some kids (a few of them my old friends) from my middle school leaked my name, so everyone knew the “peanut girl” was named Bella. Kids at the high school began citing an outdated study with a small experimental group that said that airborne peanut allergies aren’t possible. Thanks, Google. I don’t even know if that study is still online anymore, but if it is you can probably find it easily. That specific study made everything so much harder.
The main rumors were compiled of this:
I faked my peanut allergy to make friends, which made no sense because it made everyone hate me.
My mom is insane and has Munchausen Syndrome by proxy (a condition in which a caregiver creates the appearance of health problems in another person, typically their child) to make me and everyone else think I have an allergy and forged medical records since she is a nurse (which, btw, nurses do not write or update medical records, so this also makes no sense). This one was created BY A MOM OF A GIRL I GO TO SCHOOL WITH!
It is impossible to have an airborne peanut allergy, so I’m lying about it and just being selfish because I can’t eat peanuts and don’t want anyone else to be able to eat them. They said I was “a spoiled brat.”
Or people believed I had the allergy but had no human decency and were mad that they couldn’t eat peanut-containing products for 7 hours in a day, 5 days a week for 9 months, so they decided to just try and kill me to solve the problem.
Once I actually got into high school I was terrified. I was already a freshman being mixed in with people from other middle schools and those already at the high school—I was one out of 2,100 students—and I’d lost all of my old friends because they didn’t want to be associated with me, and I would put a target on their backs. I didn’t know who I could trust. So, at first I pretended I wasn’t me.
If I overheard people talk about the “peanut girl,” I would lie and say, “I’m really good friends with her and she actually does have a peanut allergy and has been in the emergency room before. Her asthma is what makes her have airborne reactions.”
People weren’t as rude because they thought I was just a friend of the “peanut girl.” This was dangerous, though, because when someone did bring them into class not knowing I was the peanut girl, I couldn’t pretend anymore. I was ashamed of my allergy because I don’t want my allergy just as much as the kids at my school don’t want me to. I wish they could bring their peanut butter too, but I am forced to make a school go peanut free so that I can live. I couldn’t go to school without the fear that someone would try to trigger my allergy for my entire freshman year. I can’t count how many times I would cry over it. I even asked my mom to homeschool me, but she said no because she knew that the only reason I asked was the bullying, not because I truly wanted to be homeschooled.
In that year, I did find my very best friend who immediately told me when she found out I was the “peanut girl” that she hated those people for what they said about me. Finding my people..my person..my best friend..my sister, that means so much to me because she helped me. My boyfriend, who I began dating in middle school, was also a huge support system outside of my family, and I am forever grateful for him for staying with the “peanut girl,” even if that could have put target on his back.
This brings me to another point in food allergies that I never see anyone talk about, and that is the co-occurrence of mental health disorders and food allergies. I assume it isn’t talked about because there aren’t many publicly published scientific abstracts or studies on the correlation between food allergies and mental illnesses. This is something particularly important to me, because I want to be a pediatric psychiatrist, and I want to end the stigma and the “taboo” part of mental health. I have struggled with mental illness.
So, to encourage others with food allergies to talk about mental illness and start this conversation, I’ll go first. Like I said, this is unfiltered and raw, so prepare for a long paragraph.
I have had anxiety since I was young. I remember when I was 5 having a meltdown because I could smell peanut butter. I remember when I was 8 being scared that someone might bring something at snack time and checking the ingredients before anyone opened any food. That anxiety from food allergies flooded over into daily life from there. When I was 8, I would start to randomly cry and think something bad was going to happen to my parents. I had severe attachment anxiety from my mom up until 11 years old. I slept in the bed with her and my dad until I went into the 5th grade. Yes, anxiety is a hereditary disorder, but mine is more severe and more physically noticeable than anyone else in my family that has it. I think that my food allergy made it worse. It makes me always on guard and hyper-vigilant, and it makes me overthink and always have my muscles tensed. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, and it makes me tremor and shake for no reason. It makes it hard to breathe because I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m anxious when I don’t even know why I’m anxious! Would it be different if I didn’t have to be so cautious for all of my life? I wasn’t diagnosed with anxiety until I was in 7th grade. I know I will always struggle with it because as I get older it gets worse, but I’ve learned to cope better.
I want to add that I also have ADHD, and this is one of the biggest parts of who I am. I don’t make ADHD my personality because I am not my ADHD and my ADHD is not me, but I realize that many of my traits and quirks come from my ADHD. I’ve learned to embrace that and not feel weird for it. ADHD is not a mental health disorder like many people seem to think, although there is a higher instance of mental illness in those with ADHD. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. However, I think something does need to be said about ADHD and allergies.
I’ve seen quite a few articles on ADHD and allergies. Some people claim that their ADHD children have more severe allergies than their neurotypical children, or that their ADHD child has “atypical” allergies. This seems to be the same with autism, as both ADHD/ADD and autism fall under the neurodivergent umbrella. There isn’t much evidence to back this up except for some articles talking about the ADHD diet (which is hard to follow if you have a food allergy because you’re already restricted enough!). If people with ADHD have a higher prevalence of food allergies, more severe food allergies, or “abnormal” food allergies, I feel like this needs to be known for the parents out there. Of course, I am only a 17 year old girl, not a doctor and much of what I’m saying is based off of research I’ve done on my own and from my personal accounts. However, maybe we should monitor children with food allergies more to see if they show ADHD/autistic symptoms. Many children (especially females) go undiagnosed due to it not being presented “stereotypically,” and if someone can find a correlation between allergies and ADHD or autism, maybe children won’t slip through the cracks as much. I personally didn’t get my diagnosis until I was 15, which is considered a later diagnosis. I was a girl. My symptoms were mostly meltdowns, sensitivity to sounds and foods (besides the foods I am allergic to), hyperfixations, and social issues such as over-talking, talking loudly, interrupting, or being “clingy” or annoying. It wasn’t what most people look for, so I was just seen as spoiled since I am the only girl and the youngest out of me and my two older brothers.
My reasoning for all of this mental health talk isn’t to gain anything. It’s a struggle to talk about because of the stigma and I’m scared people will think of the stereotypes, but I know I have to be completely honest if I want this to make an impact. My purpose is to raise awareness to the fact that there is a possibility that people with food allergies experience more severe mental illness or have a higher rate of mental illness than individuals without food allergies. My purpose is to let people that have been bullied because of their food allergies, have mental health disorders because of their food allergies, or are neurodivergent with a food allergy know that they aren’t alone. A real person; a real high schooler from a small southern town experiences the same struggles as you! I see you, I hear you, and I totally understand you.
To the kids, adults, and parents of children with food allergies that have been bullied or have experienced prejudice,
You will find your people. Maybe not now; maybe not a few years from now, but you will find the people who support you and love you for all of you. Allergies or not, they will love you and be by your side regardless.
To the individuals that have mental health disorders with their allergies, or just have mental health disorders in general,
You are not alone in this battle. It feels like it, I know, but you’re not. There are so many people who understand exactly what you’re going through and there are people who have been through what you’re going through. I am proud of you for continuing to fight and stay strong.
To those with a food allergy that have not experienced bullying or issues with mental health,
You are just as valid as anyone else with a food allergy even if you didn’t experience anything like this! Sometimes I can feel invalid when I see someone experience something worse than I have but have my same condition, so I don’t want anyone here to feel that. You still struggle every day to stay alive and safe. You still have to have life-saving devices. You are important and you are heard. We are a community, and a community sticks together.
To anyone who has a loved one with a food allergy,
Give them extra love and care. Support them and remind them that their allergy doesn’t define who they are and that they cannot control what they are allergic to. Be there for them when they need it, and always double check ingredients for them! When I have a loved one check ingredients on food items for me, it makes me feel like they care. Be considerate. Don’t brag about how good Reese’s are. We wish we could eat our allergens, too…especially when they look really good and people always say it tastes amazing. Having that rubbed in your face, even if not intentionally, is very hurtful.
To those who have no experience with food allergies,
Don’t speak ill about food allergies if you have no idea what it’s like. You probably don’t know what anaphylaxis looks like, and you don’t know what someone sounds like when they can’t breathe. You don’t know how agonizing an allergy test is because you want to scratch your back SO BAD, but aren’t allowed to. You don’t have to carry an epipen, or make a 504 plan for school, or pay a fortune for lifesaving devices and medical bills or have to check the ingredients on every single thing you eat. Educate yourself with ACTUAL resources before you speak, and don’t just speak on what one article or study says. Or don’t try to give scientific or medical advice on allergies. Just simply educate yourself, please.
With love to all of you,
Bella
